It’s an essential accessory, and every American needs at least one — Here in America, we need our weapons with us at all times, no matter the weather. We patriotic citizens really can’t afford to be caught with only a red hat to protect us from a horde of raving socialists too stupid to get out of the rain. Do not despair! The solution is here! We are proud…

Just answer these simple questions — “So, Mr. Smith-Wesson, I understand you want to go to Washington.” “Yes, Sir. I want to serve my country.” “Well, that’s a good start. Please demonstrate your patriotism by hugging this flag. That’s it. Well done.” “Thank you, Sir. I love this country.” “As do we all on the right…

“It’s the Carpenter’s Creed!” says Willie the Woodbutcher. On occasion, it is my pleasure to assist Willie the Woodbutcher in creating masterpieces in cabinetry. He does the skilled jobs. I’m the laborer, the gopher, the schlep. I hold the stupid end of the tape…

Kills 10 year-olds — A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. The 2nd amendment is awkwardly worded and subject to interpretation. Some ignore the first two clauses. Others equate people and Militia. All rights…

Another looms for an anonymous friend — There are no guarantees of life beyond the present moment. One might find this thought sobering, while another might use it as the point of embarkation for tangential thinking. Being in the latter camp, flush with the realization it’s time to reflect upon the significance of integer-times-ten birthdays, the following…

One of the joys of paddling in the Adirondacks — Living on the water is a blessing. And a morning paddle allows one to observe a variety of wildlife. Most humans are not around, so the residents of the sky go about their business unconcerned.